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First, Figure Out Your Fantasy If you already have a sexy scenario in mind, you can skip ahead…show-offs!
But for beginners, Laurie Watson, a sex therapist in North Carolina, says a trick that always works for her clients is heading to a hotel bar and pretending to be strangers picking each other up for the first time—just make sure one of you reserves a room ahead of time.
"I actually used to be a housekeeper when I was younger, and it was something I fantasized about but never brought to fruition," she says.
"Maybe that's why I like it now, because it hits close to home!
(Unless you really do want to sleep with the mailman.
Maybe you were a lifeguard as a teenager and always wanted to give that cute swimmer mouth-to-mouth.…It's definitely hotter when you're living a fantasy you always wished would happen IRL. Now Share It Ian Kerner, Ph D, a sex therapist in Manhattan, says that "all good role-playing starts with sharing your fantasy." Easier said than done, Kerner!
What if your partner thinks that you need him to take on a different persona in order to get turned on or that your wandering mind means you have a wandering eye too?
Well, Kerner has a trick for that—bring up your fantasy as a compliment.
Say, "I had this really hot dream about you last night.